What is Polarization and How to Avoid It?

What is polarization? Is it possible not to become polarized? Whether it’s politics, gender, religion, or parenting, sometimes not taking sides seems impossible.

In his book The Wisdom Pattern, Richard Rohr says there is a “third way.”

“This is a position that refuses to become polarized. This is a position that recognizes the ego at work both in excluding and oppressing the other, as well as in claiming moral superiority through a continuous victimhood narrative.”

Two like charges repel each other. But if I reverse one of them, they will attract. My ego will always push away the other ego. They are too alike. I need to reverse my charge to start attracting.

What is polarization and what causes it?

To explain the phenomenon, Peter Kreeft, the philosophy professor at Boston College, gave the following illustration.

Imagine two people standing on top of two opposite hills, each at the farthest possible distance from each other. Even if they shout at the top of their lungs, they won’t hear much.

But the more each one descends into the valley, the closer they will get to each other. The closer they are to each other, the less they will need to “shout.” The closer they become, the less they will need to second-guess the meaning of each other’s words.

Eventually, they will reach the lowest point in the valley, where they won’t even need to whisper. Silence is more than enough for communication. The closer you are to God, the closer you are to the Other.

This does not mean that there are no more differences between them; it means they are above them. When we go down we go up. The differences are still there, but they are not all that important.

There, at the deepest depth, all differences are transcended, not eradicated. Overemphasizing differences is a symptom of superficiality – not going deep enough. There can be no mutuality or understanding on the surface. Only isolation and polarization.

Continue reading “What is Polarization and How to Avoid It?”

What Happens When You Heal Your Inner Child?

A parent holding a child's hand

How do you heal your inner child? What is it in the first place?

Your inner child is your inner guidance system that tells you what you need to be happy.

Your inner child is that part of you that always knows what you would have been if you had been loved perfectly.

It’s an inner sensor of love or its absence.

Your inner child is a flower inside you that blooms or fades depending on how much love you feel.

The inner child is that part of me that always tells me the absolute truth about how I feel right now.

If I feel bad inside but keep smiling on the outside, my inner child will be kicking and screaming – and I will feel inner conflict.

If I neglect him for too long and he feels desperate, he will hide – making me feel sad and lost.

If I really hate doing something but try to convince myself otherwise, my inner child will not be fooled. He will break the truth quite bluntly:

“I want to get out of here!”

You may ignore this still small voice for a long time – or even try to silence it entirely – but it will ALWAYS manifest itself in your subconscious through feelings, dreams, and those serendipitous moments when life catches you unawares.

Your inner child is your inner GPS system to always guide you towards perfect love.

The inner child knows what it feels like to be loved perfectly and always protests when you acquiesce to something less.

The more we neglect that voice, the further away we are from perfect love.

The more we want to control, the more inner conflict we feel.

Inner conflict indicates a struggle between what your inner child feels and what your controlling mind craves.

The difference between my inner child and me is that I can lie to myself, and he cannot.

He is my innermost treasure to point me to what I need to be truly happy.

But if I want to connect to this inner GPS system and allow it to lead me to real joy and fulfillment, I need to first recognize my inner child and start listening to him.

It’s not easy at first – the inner child has been hurt. He doesn’t trust me. I have been mistreating him for so many years.

Why would he go out of hiding? Why would he crawl from under the bed?

He will, eventually, if I keep showing up for him with RELENTLESS EMPATHY.

That’s what a loving parent does! They give the child RELENTLESS EMPATHY and UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE.

Continue reading “What Happens When You Heal Your Inner Child?”